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Prevention & Counselling

Counselling

The free Prevention & Counselling service gives you the opportunity to know us and to better understand and comprehend our way of thinking and working, while expanding your cognitive perception and your cognitive field, so that you can choose in the best possible way.
 
The posts are not an advertising product and have –exclusively and only– been posted for the wider information of the website’s visitors!
 
Through facts, experiences, historical flashbacks, objective data and associations, solutions are presented, analyzed and proposed in accordance with Nicolas l’ Ange’s comprehension, opinions, aspects, practical implementation, and philosophical perception and view.

The “informal” beginning of Counselling Science started taking shape when human relationships beagn to be “structured” and had as its “starting point” the human need to offer help to those in their close environment who needed it.

It developed into a specialization in the science of psychology to be more effective, to reduce the margins of error made by ignorance and mishandling and when the need arose to be more effective and beneficial to man, while its practice was based on the scientific theories of human personality and behavior, which shaped the nature of the Science of Counselling.

Counselling deals with the restoration of mental health and the promotion of self-awareness, which helps to make better use of the resources and skills available to the individual to achieve self-realization with the aim of helping the individual to develop his internal strengths and capabilities to the fullest extent possible.

 

Definition:

Etymologically, the term counselling means that someone accepts or gives advice/advices and although the verb I consult means I ask someone to give me a piece of advice, that is, to tell me what I need to do to solve a specific problem (e.g. legal, family, financial, etc.), the science of counselling does not do this, but focuses mainly on how to make it easier for the individual to better understand what is happening to him, to encourage him to set his personal goals, to find himself the way out of his personal difficulties and solve his daily and existential problems.

Counselling does not create dependents but helps them by showing them how to develop to the best of their ability, to become independent, to acquire problem-solving skills and to become autonomous so that they can live a full and fulfilled life. Achieving the counselling goals requires a special and specific profile of high level trained counselors with special rules, relevant experience, appropriate methods, consistency, best techniques, positive philosophy and special sensitization.

In objective reality, counselling is not intended to provide advice and is not used in this way, because counselling is a process of interaction and meaningful communication aimed at helping an individual or a group of people who face difficulties or problems that they cannot manage on their own. These difficulties or problems may relate to their adaptability to difficult situations, to their relationship with themselves, to their interpersonal relationships, to their professional life, to their evolution, to their socialization. Counselling can be included and functioned at the prevention level as an effort to notify, raise awareness and inform people in order to give the individual the opportunity to explore, discover and clarify the ways that will provide him a creative and more fulfilling life. It also includes working with people and relationships, which can be related to development, crisis support, guidance, psychotherapy and problem solving.
 
Counselling is a method that helps people to think and discuss their personal problems, in order to be relieved, to gain greater understanding and to find some way out of the difficulties that are presented to them and the problems that afflict them. It is a highly confidential process with discussion as its main feature and there are various schools of counselling thinking that support counselling practice to choose the one that suits you (e.g. cognitive/behavioral, person-centered, systemic, existential, psychodynamic, etc.).
Proper application of prevention includes both counselling and psychotherapy.
 
a.) Similarities:
They relate to their goals (personal development and evolution of individuals) as well as the importance they give to the relationship between experts and individuals.
b.) Differences:
Counselling is characterized by its immediacy and aims more at the “here and now” and the results of people’s actions in their daily lives! And psychotherapy tries to go deeper into the inner world of man in order to achieve the reconstruction of his personality.
Counselling works mainly in educational spaces (e.g. nursery schools, kindergartens, schools, universities), workplaces, health centers, social services, while psychotherapy can be performed in a clinical setting.
It is also used for scheduling and planning of actions for the benefit of the individual, after the desired objectives have been clarified from the beginning. In this sense, the consultative relationship that develops between them is the space (literal and figurative) in which the investigation and clarification take place.
 
Counselling aims to help us overcome various issues that bother us and prevent us from moving forward as human beings because it is a form of psychotherapy, which helps us become a better version of ourselves –facing the challenges that are difficult for us– to improve our relationships, to process and overcome painful emotions, to solve mental health issues, to adapt to difficult changes, to modify behaviors and habits that undermine us, with the help of a trained counselor.
 
The goal is to help, examine and overcome the problems that afflict us and prevent us from evolving and completing as entities. Psychotherapy helps and enables us to live the life we ​​desire.
 
The most interesting and meaningful journey we can make in our lives is within ourselves! We work and learn to overcome the obstacles that arise, expanding our boundaries, so that we can live a free, meaningful life, without external or internal compulsions.
Based on the procedure and methodology it uses, we distinguish counselling in:
 
a. Personal
Personal counselling takes place between the counselor and the individual and aims to provide assistance to the individual.
b. Group
Group counselling takes place between the counselor and two or more people and the goal for each person is to see himself individually within a group and to lead to personal growth and development through interaction with other members.
 
The type of help it provides in terms of the characteristics of the people to whom the group help is addressed can take many forms.
 
1. Preventive counselling (initially on a general basis and more specifically depending on the case).
2. Parental counselling (with wider application throughout the family, parents/children/relatives, etc.).
3. Educational counselling.
4. Working counselling.
5. Counselling for dealing with emergencies or difficult-critical situations (e.g. accidents, natural disasters or phenomena, etc.).
6. Counselling for elderly people, as well as anywhere else it could work (e.g. alcohol or drug addiction, etc.).
 
A relationship develops between the counselor and the individual that includes all those attitudes and feelings that the 2 people have, which take part in counselling, for each other. This relationship should be built from the very first sessions, to make the individual feel comfortable and want to return to subsequent meetings if this is deemed essential or necessary.

•  When we have already tried to solve some problems on our own, but we have not succeeded.

•  When we are going through unwanted changes or we have to make important decisions in our lives, which we find difficult to deal with.

•  When we become victims of our weaknesses and passions and look for “crutches” having all kinds of dependencies or addictions (e.g. alcohol, gambling, psychotropic substances, etc.).

•  When we feel that the time has come to stop “burying” the negative situations or what afflicts us and realize that we need help to see them more clearly and to put them in order.

•  When we face aggressive behavior from our family, but at the same time we feel trapped.

•  When we are “stagnated”/“stuck” in an event or situation and we cannot get out/escape, despite our sincere efforts.

•  When the lack of self-confidence “holds” us back and does not allow us to evolve and enjoy life.

•  When we have problems that we find difficult to discuss with relatives or friends.

•  When we have difficulty adjusting or with our sexuality.

•  When we are concerned with existential issues (e.g. Why should I live suffering? What is the meaning of life? etc.).

•  When we want someone to support us in the course of our professional or personal development.

It is in the nature of people to desire or admire (as they say) the counselling / psychoanalytic / psychotherapeutic process (mostly safely and by distance). First, they approach it theoretically, get close to it… some take one to five (maximum) sessions and then give up the effort. The phenomenon always has the same pattern. Desire, terror, fear, resignation and… leaving!
 
Most people enjoy the psychotherapeutic journey, but they do not dare to go through it. They would like to want, but they probably do not want enough… It is here that “I want” is completely intertwined, inseparably with the insolent, the courageous, and the almighty “I can”.
 
They seek more, not the dream, the ultimate goal, but the obstacles, which if they stumble upon them, will easily reverse the path to the “desired” end, the fulfillment of their self-realization. It is as if, from a very early age, embraced by a strong “I cannot” that, in order to suppress the responsibility of its body, seeks a thousand excuses (the callous, distant, uncaring or incomplete personality of the therapist, the intense and threatening emotions that are aroused, the warmth of the candidate’s familiar mediocrity and immobility, the projections in the early healing relationship of an old callous betrayal, the time and money that are “always” missing… etc.).
Inexhaustible but convincing excuses that the candidates for treatment say to themselves first and then to the therapist, as long as the great truth is not yet realized. The one that is hidden deep inside them, so that the scary “no, I do not want to, even if I can” is not perceivable.
Often seeing people who faintly and subconsciously deny life and vitality, we constantly recall the words of Christ, who always, in any case of impending healing of a sick person, asks the patient the unthinkable –to many of us– and for some… “stupid” question:  “Before I heal you… tell me, do you want to get well?”.
 
The Godman knows what we, through the darkness of our lack of consciousness, often question, trying to be excused to ourselves. He knows that man is heartbreakingly and irrevocably free to choose his life. To graft it with vitality or death. To build his desire. To reject, or succeed in his mission. To choose –usually unknowingly– his slow death. To say –often disguised– “no” in front of the possibility of his personal healing. To prefer the ghosts of pain, unresolved, endless mourning and fear mongering to its existential renovation.
He knows that he is a prisoner of his freedom to give new meaning and degrees of freedom in his life at all times. Just as he is also a prisoner of his terrifying freedom to think and act freely.
We choose counselling when we cannot “find” and understand ourselves or when we are unable to solve our problems. Usually, we let things go a long way before we ask for help and the main reason is the fear of what we will face behind closed doors. The unknown is a factor that certainly adds to the initial inhibition of the person who will resort to the counselling process, as it adds to the stress of the initial treatment request.
 
“Leaving yourself” and trusting a stranger, even if he is a therapist, is certainly a challenge in itself, and usually people seeking counselling are skeptical or look for a counselor in the role of “savior” to give them solutions in moments of despair.
 
The main question, of course, has to do with the process, the way one should behave. The inhibition we feel that we will experience in a room with a therapist or perhaps the thought that someone will criticize us are normal questions, and usually as soon as we decide to enter the treatment process, we realize that it is just part of the resistance of a defense mechanism that “protects” us from change.
 
There are schools in psychology, and each school has its own codes, ways of treatment and consideration. Nevertheless, there are things that the therapist will do, which are key features of the process and are the result of his training and empathy, which is a building material for the therapeutic relationship.
 
We expect from a specialized Counselling / Guidance / Prevention Professional:
  • To ask us the real reason for our visit: The counselor wants to know the real reason we wanted to visit him. This is done not only to learn some things about us, but also because one of the most important points in treatment is the therapeutic request (the therapeutic request is not always clear, in the sense that the person who will resort to counselling is often confused and has not clarified in his mind even the very reason or the way he would like to be helped). Investigating and locating the therapeutic request are very important in order to clearly set the therapeutic goals and to base an even treatment plan that will lead us to them.
  • To be interested and to “deepen”… by asking us “personal” questions: The counselor does not ask out of curiosity about what concerns us, but out of interest! His curiosity is not due to rudeness and he certainly does not intend to put us in a difficult position! The reason he asks is because our history is important, not because it defines us, but on the one hand it allows him to know us better, on the other hand he allows the definition of some “patterns” which by recognizing them we will see what exactly is repeated in our lives, so to be able to change it. In the way we react, many times, there is contributory learning. So, by teasing our dependent reactions, we will have better and greater control of our reactions along the way.
  • To “mirror” our behavior: A specialized counselor has as main purpose to “meet” the mental state of the patient. The posture, the tone and the style of our speech, our movements, the way we sit, our behavior, the way we will look; everything will be “mirrored” by the therapist! In this way intimacy occurs and an awareness is achieved on the part of the patient of his kinesiology (e.g. if you enter the session area and sit with your arms crossed, your therapist is more likely to do the same… if the tone you speak is high, the therapist will probably adjust his her voice to yours, so that a more harmonious dialogue and equal terms can be achieved).
  • To introduce himself to us and inform us about the approach of the treatment that he will want to apply: The counselor should and is considered useful to inform us about his experience and studies. There are various schools of psychotherapy (e.g. cognitive/behavioral, Gestalt, mindfulness, synthetic, psychodynamics, etc.). Every professional is different! He has a different personality, a different way of reconstructing and approaching the problem. He is obliged to talk to you about this way, as well as about the way everything will be handled during the treatment period. Do not be afraid to ask your questions, so that you can choose correctly and decide if the therapist and the treatment he wants to apply… suits you.
  • To explain the terms of our cooperation: Due to the fact that the therapeutic relationship is –in addition to interpersonal– also a professional relationship, it has some preconditions. The terms of cooperation, which include the code of conduct (maintaining and breaching confidentiality, relationship on social networks, etc.), the treatment contract, but also the amount of remuneration, are usually determined in the first session. The treatment contract is usually a document that states and explains all of the above, as well as the rights and obligations of each party and is the basis of the professional agreement that we will make. Its purpose is not binding on the treatment; it just seals the agreement.
  • To inform us about his behavior towards us in case of socializing/meeting (accidental or not) outside the workplace/therapy: The code of conduct states that in case we meet outdoors, he will pretend not seeing us and will not come to greet us, unless we speak to him first (this practice is not followed by all mental health professionals). This is not because our therapist rejects us outside the workplace, but because he protects us from inhibition. There are people who consider it taboo to see a psychologist and may have hidden it from those around them. Therefore, if our therapist greets us, he exposes us to an explanation process. However, if we choose to greet our therapist (e.g. in a restaurant, cinema, etc.), he is more likely to do the same.
  • To not react badly or be shocked by what he hears:  A specialist counselor should not react, show surprise or any other strong emotion when he hears us present our problem to him. This may raise some questions about whether he really listens to us or makes us wonder why our problem is not affecting him.
The reasons that therapists are generally and should remain unexpressed are 2:
  1. Because of a process called “normalization” that aims to make us understand that many people have been found in our position and that the shame or guilt we bring about what we feel is magnified. Of course, this does not mean that our feelings are not real, but that perhaps by feeling that we are the only ones experiencing a situation it magnifies our feelings towards the problem.
  2. To allow greater visibility. It is the normal process, in which the therapist “becomes a white cloth”, to “project” on him how we feel. In this way, we will more easily relive situations of the past, but this time in a protected environment and in front of someone who has the knowledge, experience and technique to guide us.
 
Counselling is a process that for each of us has a different feeling and is an experience that aims to better understand ourselves and the way we work. It has an objective and essential value to dare it and overcome the fear of the unknown, giving space to the new perception of ourselves.

A prevention and mental health counselor must accept himself, have a selfless and sincere interest in people, self-knowledge, empathy (i.e. the counselor’s ability to recognize the experiences and feelings of the individual, to identify with his mental state and to understand his motivations and behavior), authenticity (the ability of the counselor to be himself, to behave naturally), experience, intelligence, ethics, education, respect, responsibility, to be infinitely receptive and positively disposed towards the individual (unconditional acceptance), to know how to listen, to judge without criticizing, to inspire, to guide!

The counselor respects and observes the Codes of Conduct that are systematically supervised, and does not neglect his scientific training and personal development. He is trained to listen carefully, to help without judging the individual so that the obstacles are removed, to discern the subtle points of his problems, to support the individual so that he discovers what is best for him –according to his own desires and his own reality– to apply a non-intrusive and non-directional person-centered existential approach, to redefine situations but also himself.

In practice!  The counselor does not advise the individual on what to do or what is the best way to solve his problems (we are bombarded with advice, often without asking for it). It is more useful, from the subjective opinion of an “expert”, to succeed –by studying and trying alone or with his support– to “hear” our own inner voice, our own opinion, our own desires!

We are completely different people and there are no solutions, recipes and forms that have an effect, work or suit everyone.

1. The reluctance and negative behavior of the consultant.
2. The different values ​​and attitudes of both (counselor/individual).
3. Competition and perhaps… hostility/coldness in the relationship between counselor and individual.
4. The effort of the counselor to impose his personal perceptions and beliefs.
5. The emotional and mental balance of both during the process.
 
Counselling is a limited process. It has a beginning and an end! It starts with a clear demarcation, relationship and targeting, and ends when the counselor and the individual jointly judge that the goals have been achieved.
 
However, there are cases where the termination of counseling is imposed by external factors. Such an interruption can have a serious emotional impact on the individual. In any case, before ending a counseling relationship, what has been achieved through it should be reviewed, the feelings of both parties should be expressed and the individual should be encouraged to face the new reality and his life on his own. It is important that the counselor emphasizes the individual’s ability to contact him again if and when he deems it necessary.

The Institutions of advisory process and Science are distinguished in:

  • Public/State.
  • Private.

There are 2 branches:

  1. Private Consulting Science Institutions controlled, collaborating or under state supervision.
  2. Independent Private Consulting Science Institutions (freelancers).

In Hellas, the competent body of Counseling and Vocational Guidance Ε.Ο.Π.Π.Ε.Π. (eoppep.gr) is a Legal Person Governed by Private Law, supervised by the Minister of Education and Religions and its actions are theoretically in the right direction (but is it essentially free?) …

 

⇒  Look for the appropriate or corresponding competent body in your country of residence –if available– so that you know exactly the rights, possibilities and prospects that it can or “wants” to provide you…

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